I don’t really miss you

I have this feeling like I should reach out. I know it’s not real and I honestly think it’s connected to something deeper. When I ask myself what I miss about you I can’t even pin point what it is. Maybe I miss the person I made up in my head not taking into account the emptiness I felt when we were together. You made me feel like I had to fight for you. Maybe that’s what I miss? I’m not sure. I know we will never speak again and honestly, it’s for the best. Maybe I miss the small moments we had together but I know it wouldn’t be the same if we were to connect again. I miss the freshness of what it was. I miss the what if of what it could have been. But right now I know what it would have been. We were not a match. We were not the best parts of each other. We did not have a deep connection. What I felt was me. I am the funny one, I am the one who lights up the room. I know I’ll meet someone else who makes me feel like job but for now I am giving myself the joy. There will be a day when I wake up and you won’t be any where near my brain. One day when the thought of you won’t even cross my mind. One day you will be a distance memory or perhaps no memory at all. I know one day will come. Sooner would be better.