Trust & Faith

Trust beyond self is a hard concept to come to terms with. Christianity has taught that to have faith is to let go and let God. That God is ultimately working in our favor and will give the best outcome. The main aspect of letting God take control is having faith that it will all work out in perfect timing. Not on our human time but on God’s time.

Giving my desires and wants to God is something that I have been struggling with; but having to come to terms that its the only way I will be able to continue to move forward. Recently, I had the internal call that it is time for me to move states. Frantically I started to apply to every position I was slightly qualified for. While I was getting call backs, they were just not the positions for me, mainly because I would be taking a massive pay cut. This reality was debilitating to my mental health, leading me into a crippling spiral that a month later I am barely coming out of. Only until I took a step back to realize that I am trying to force something on my timeline and not being patient for the right opportunity to come. At one point I even said I would rather move and be homeless than stay in my current state. Which is a diabolical thing to say, especially because on the face my current life is good. I have a job that pays well, a nice studio apartment and a small community that I have built of friends. Although, I want things to work on my time there might be a reason why I wasn’t able to find a job immediately. I do still want to move and experience a new place to live but I have come to terms that nothing will be on my timeline and I have to be ok with not knowing the unknown.

I do have faith that I am where I should be in life and even though I want change I am grateful to be in the position that I am in.

SN: I know that I am doing something wrong when I start doing said task frantically and with a ton of anxiety. When tasks and to-do’s come with ease I know that I am on the right track. A lot of the time it is about focusing energy on the right things.

Let go, let God, and have faith all things will work.