What the ****

They say we become wiser with age.

One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to step back and look at yourself from a third person perspective. Right now, I am stepping back and really watching what I am doing. Especially since I know right from wrong. They same cycles will show themselves until the action is corrected.

Specifically I am talking about relationships. Romantic relationships that is. If I were to be watching myself on a reality tv show right now I would throw popcorn at the screen. To be infatuated over sweet nothings is absolutely absurd. All of the love that has been poured over me I cannot let it be emptied by the unknowing. I know I will have found my person when I no longer feel like I have to question their love or like for me. I am certain of who I am and I need my partner to be certain that they are for me.

The fact of the matter is that that man clearly said that he was uncertain of what he should do. I will make it easy and make the decision for you. I am certain that I love myself and I love the woman I am becoming. I know for a fact that there is someone in this world that is made for me. That will be certain that they love me.

So sweet, you couldn’t stop thinking about me. It’s crazy because I have used these same lines so many times before. When it’s done to me it makes me feel like “wow they really care” if they cared they would have reached out sooner. It took two different people to realize you would never find another person like me.

Yea, now you get to confirm that you lost the coolest, nicest, prettiest, kindest most loving person ever. Not to mention my personality is so big and joyous.

What triggered this is the fact that it took all day to text me back. No way it took 8 hours to realize that I never texted back. See I was getting to emotionally involved. I would never feel this way if it was done by one of the girls. This is different.

How am I supposed to be friends with someone that I dated before? Had an actual connection with and just pretend that I dont still have feelings. I think that being “friends” makes it harder to process and move on from each other.

I have to let him go because I know that there is someone out there that will be able to give me everything I need and not have to second guess.

We gave it a nice try, a try to reconnect but I am certain about my feelings and I need that to be reciprocated.

Hopefully this time it won’t be so painful.